Concert and No Failure

Took my mommy' s helper, Jordana, to see Brad Paisley last night in Mansfield, Mass. It was so fun for me to surprise her with this special gift for her 16th birthday. She helps me with the twins 3 or 4 days a week- holding them, helping them play, diaper changes, etc- so she is very special to us. Jordana LOVES country music so I gave her the Brad Paisley ticket in a birthday card last Monday and she screamed "is this for real!" and we both looked forward to it all week. The concert was a hundred miles away so we got to know each other better on the trip. I was telling Jordana with tearful eyes that I feel like a failure because I haven't been able to breastfeed the twins as much as I had been, and my supply is really getting low. I didn't realize how emotional it would be for me to face "weaning." I admit that I have complained about breastfeeding off and on and have been tempted to quit prematurely. I had written in my goals for 2009 that I would breastfeed them for 6 months or even possibly a year. They are almost 5 months old. They just won't nurse during the day sometimes and it's very challenging to pump if I don't have a helper. I will continue to feed them as I have, and at least keep my supply where it is...

Then Chris told me that he feels like a failure for not securing a new job yet. He had so many people interested in him after the job fair in April but the results have been tepid. I don't see him as a failure at all~he is spending so many hours studying for a new certification and is also job searching online and working the phones. He's been extremely dedicated to the process and I encouraged him to get those thoughts out of his mind! We can't see ourselves as victims in any way.

I am finding comfort in 1 Corinthians 13. Love never fails. There is no failure in love. Those words carry me and they are my firm foundation. The words are my security and solace. I have a place to turn to when thoughts of "you're failing" come to my mind. I will not fail to breastfeed my babies and Christofer will not fail his job search.